How to stay away and stop enjoying violence

How to stay away and stop enjoying violence?

There was a time when I used to react through my fist or holding collar of the other person without giving it a second thought made me feel stronger. The hormonal rush, power and pride- it all gave satisfaction in that very moment. As I grew older, I started questioning myself that why do I enjoy hurting others? Or why does aggression makes me feel superior? And how do I stop myself getting pulled back in it- mentally, physically and emotionally? If you are someone who can relate to this story or have the history of involvement in violence, whether physically or mentally- this blog is for you.

Why people get involved in violence?

Violence is considered as one of the most unacceptable traits of a human but also the most common one. But not everyone has violent nature, some may exhibit physical violence, some verbally and few show none at all. Violence is often not about just anger. It’s more than that. People may trip on the urge to get violent because:

It gives a sense of control when everything around feels chaotic
It helps in earning power in certain environments like gangs and unsafe neighbourhood or groups.
It helps release intense emotions like frustration, grief, anger, fear
In few cases, it becomes a habit when the person is grown up seeing violence around.

Although, all of these reasons (or you call it thrill) for violence only brings us temporary relief from the emotions and invites serious consequences for the future.

Why people get involved in violence?

After a lots of efforts, we might stop being physically violent, but we may still

Laugh or enjoy when someone else is hurting someone
Daydream about power and revenge
Feel satisfaction in violent scenes from videos and movies
Feel boredom in peaceful situations

These are the result of practicing violence over the past years which has now turned into a habit or addiction. And like any other addiction, it takes time and efforts to overcome it.

So, how do you avoid getting involved again?

Here is a list of ways how you can save yourself from violence:

Identify your triggers: what makes me frustrated, to the extent that I could harm others? It could be disrespect, fear, jealousy, feeling of ignorance or past trauma. Recognizing your triggers help you to manage them.
Pause before you react: take a moment, and give a deep thought about the action you were about to commit and think- if it is worth reacting or is it going to bring you inner peace. (Quick tip: count to 10). It may sound simple- but it works.
Avoid your violent group: stay away from people who encourage you to fight, harm others and most importantly self.
Call for help: if your violent urges are too strong, it is highly recommended to talk to therapist. Remember, reaching out for help is the bravest decision one could take in their life.

Channelize your energy and convert it into something fruitful like sports, gymnastics, martial arts. It will not only transform your violence, it will teach you how to control it.