Lonely Hearts, Festive Times

Every festival comes with a hidden purpose to connect and spend the time with joy. It pauses the dullness of the routine life and invites people to come together, celebrate traditions, and share in collective happiness. Every festival weathers its Holi, Diwali, Eid or thanksgiving surely serves warmth, love and belonging. But sometimes and for some people the festive time can call up the overwhelming sense of loneliness. Feeling of loneliness can deepen even under the bright lights, social gatherings and family reunions for those who feel disconnected. Oftenly this reality of being lonely during festive time is a lot overlooked that even after being universally joyous it could underscore social disconnection and emotional emptiness.

Why do we feel lonely?

Do you also start avoiding social gathering, or have zero motivation and interest for the festival?

There could be numerous reasons for these kinds of behaviours. Some might have lost their closed ones, and find absence of their family or friends. Most common reason to feel lonely is missing their loved ones in the most joyous days of the months. These can be cured by the time and it does not harm your mental health. But there are people who haven’t lost anyone and they are not far from home still feel lonely. For them loneliness could stem from;

Lack of acknowledgement- when people are neglected in their surrounding they start to feel the need of being recognized.
Unrealistic expectations- sometimes people hope for togetherness, joy, or specific celebrations and fail to experience them.
Personal challenges- financial difficulties, health problems, relationship problems becomes of the reason of feeling lonely.
Social isolation- few of you might not have enough close people to celebrate with.

Well, the feeling of being lonely should not be confused with solitude. While solitude is a chosen state of being isolated or withdrawing oneself from the surrounding whereas loneliness is a feeling of being cut-off from meaningful connections.

Burdened by tradition?

There is an unspoken expectation that everybody must feel joyous or happy in festivals no matter what situation an individual is going through. In every culture where family values are deeply inherent, festivals are often considered identical with family gatherings. Not just it, but this extends to rituals associated with it. It could be extremely emotionally demanding for those who have lost their loved ones to follow the tradition which were once shared.

Role of society in addressing festive loneliness.

Societies sometimes play crucial role in addressing this issue better than the individual themselves. Those who feel left out during this time and the narrative of being joyous doesn’t works them, they must indulge in community events which are created to bring these people together or become the host and invite people like you for meals. In fact as an employer you can behave extra sensitive to the employees and play a part in it.

The psychological impact;

Long term feeling of loneliness can lead to psychological and physiological effects. Increased stress levels, weakened immune systems, disturbed sleep patterns are still the minor results whereas chronic loneliness can be linked to depression and anxiety. The external display of celebration and internal experience of isolation, the emotional strain gets heightened due to this contrast.

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How will you cope with it?

Several strategies could be:

Stop criticizing yourself- be gentle to yourself and practice self compassion could be motivating in this duration.
Break the isolation cycle- try to join other’s celebration on being invited.
Contact professional help in the condition of severity o when feeling like you’re loosing your mind.
Limit social media as you might start comparing yourself by blocking the accounts that might trigger your feeling of envy.

Author: Anushka Sharma